Israel16180Year #1 http://www.xanga.com/Israel16180/515440864/one-year-.html
Israel16180
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Name: David
Location: Visalia, California, United States
Birthday: 3/30/1987
Gender: Male


Interests: Math, Chatting, Forums, God, The Bible, Saving People, Alt Rock, TV...
Expertise: Math, and unfortunatly being human...*sigh*, bummer...
Occupation: Customer service/support
Industry: Construction


Message: message meEmail: email me


Member Since: 8/3/2005

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Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Actually that's not true. I have changed.

The state of my life is the same but I'm different as a person. In the past I was under the control of a intellectual virus and it caused me angst because even then, as stupid as I was, I was smart enough to rebel against it. Of course it tried to defend it's self so because of my own doubt I had to defend my beliefs and spread them to others. I was a total asshole.

I'm still stupid but I'm still smart.

Part of the reason I was so into the christian thing was because my friend was. I dropped my other friends to be with him. I invested a lot in him and it was such a waste. Now I don't have anyone. The people I'm closest to I can't seem to connect with. Before I dropped my other friends for this guy they'd always push me and my creativity but "John" was easy. I thought it ment we clicked. It turns out that weren't clicking he just needed me. And that's why it was easy, because he would never leave. Then he found a group to be apart of and a girlfriend to boot and it just fell apart. I left before he could leave me and then he got sucked so far into this intellectual virus that that's all he is now.

Around the time all this started happening my parents kicked me out. I was terrible to them. I needed more from them but they couldn't give it to me. Maybe even if they could it wouldn't be right to expect it from them but it pissed them off because I had such a sense of entitlement. And they expect something important from me. I don't know what. I'm not sure they do either. But I love my parents and I wish I'd understood them better before now. I'd been afraid of leaving home my whole life because I didn't know how I was going to take care of myself.

So when I got kicked out and I lost my friend and I moved in with someone I didn't understand and who had their own problems...I imploded. I isolated myself because I couldn't deal with anyone or anything anymore. I was building up my armor for a long time and I shut everyone out. But I couldn't stand being alone anymore. Up until the time I moved in with my room mate Paul I'd always had some. So when I got a job a the VCC I tried to rebuild connections and it didn't work out so well.

After two years I've been about to be by myself and let down my armor a little for the people I care about. I think I just need to let people in more, take more interest in their interests and try harder to express myself.

Peace.


Tuesday, May 18, 2010

A lot has changed.

I just thought that I'd look back on some old posts and I've found that I was so sure of myself just a few years ago. I didn't know what was ahead but I knew what I believed and I had a faint sense of what I wanted. Now I don't know. I'm a little crazy. I have some concrete plans for my future but as to finding some sort of meaning or profound purpose for my life...*shrug* I'd decided that I could be a baker. I don't like the idea of my life being about making cake for people but people like cake and I like to make people happy. Why not? It's easy and brings a smile to people's faces so if I can't find something important to do I'll sling dough for a living. First I'll see if I could fall into something better at COS.

It's amazing how much can come out of me so quickly using this format. Usually I have so little to say but on here once I get in front of this dialog box it just all comes out of nowhere. I only started this post so I'd have a post for someone to return my comment on but I might as well give a little info....But I'll do that in a post latter tonight. I have to go. I watch Lost with Oma on Tuesdays.

Have fun.


Tuesday, July 01, 2008

"why parents drink"

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed
was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope,
propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.' With the
worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the
letter.
>
> Dear Dad:
> It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope
with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.
I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew
you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight
motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it's
not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very
happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the
whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has
opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll
be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live
nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science
will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it. Don't
worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure
that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your
grandchildren.
>
> Love,
> Your Son John
>
> PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I Just
wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than
> a report card. That's in my center desk drawer.
>
> I love you. Call me when it's safe to come home.


Thursday, January 24, 2008

A mouse looked through the crack in the wall to see the farmer and his wife open a package.


 

What food might this contain? The mouse wondered - he was devastated to discover it was a mousetrap.


 

Retreating to the farmyard, the mouse proclaimed the warning:

There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!


 

The chicken clucked and scratched, raised her head and said, 'Mr.Mouse, I can tell this is a grave concern to you, but it is of no consequence to me.'' I cannot be bothered by it.'

The mouse turned to the pig and told him, 'There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!'


 

The pig sympathized, but said, I am so very sorry, Mr. Mouse, but there is nothing I can do about it but pray.


 

'Be assured you are in my prayers.'

The mouse turned to the cow and said 'There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!'


 

The cow said, 'Wow, Mr. Mouse. I'm sorry for you, but it's no skin off my nose.'

So, the mouse returned to the house, head down and dejected, to face the farmer's mousetrap alone.


 

That very night a sound was heard throughout the house -- like the sound of a mousetrap catching its prey.


 

The farmer's wife rushed to see what was caught. In the darkness, she did not see it was a venomous snake whose tail the trap had caught.


 

The snake bit the farmer's wife. The farmer rushed her to the hospital, and she returned home with a fever.


 

Everyone knows you treat a fever with fresh chicken soup, so the farmer took his hatchet to the farmyard for the soup's main ingredient.


 

But his wife's sickness continued, so friends and neighbors came to sit with her around the clock.

To feed them, the farmer butchered the pig.

The farmer's wife did not get well; she died.
 

So many people came for her funeral; the farmer had the cow slaughtered to provide enough meat for all of them.

The mouse looked upon it all from his crack in the wall with great sadness.


 So, the next time you hear someone is facing a problem and think it doesn't concern you, remember -- when one of us is threatened, we are all at risk.


 

We are all involved in this journey called life. We must keep an eye out for one another and make an extra effort to encourage one another.


 

SEND THIS TO EVERYONE WHO HAS EVER HELPED YOU OUT AND LET THEM KNOW HOW IMPORTANT THEY ARE.


 

REMEMBER,,,,


 

EACH OF US IS A VITAL THREAD IN ANOTHER PERSON'S TAPESTRY;


 

OUR LIVES ARE WOVEN TOGETHER FOR A REASON.


 

 

One of the best things to hold onto in this world is a friend

 


Sunday, January 13, 2008

Global warming video.

I couldn't embed the video into my own page so I just put the link to The Theologians Cafe. Weather you agree with this guys video or not my way of thinking has been somewhat the same in the face of skeptics against global warming.

http://weblog.xanga.com/TheTheologiansCafe/637193113/pascals-wager-and-global-warming.html



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